At family gatherings there is a single question that racks in my brain, a question that follows me to my bed and haunts me in a restless sleep.
"What do you want to do with your life"
I mean that's not to say I have vague ideas, I mean I have a multitude of aspirations! The problem is that I don't want to choose. If I could, I'd do it all, try everything, and be the proverbial Renaissance Man. As a child my personal hero was Benjamin Franklin, a true polymath, a man that did literally everything. From world class swimmer to newspaper editor to man of the American Revolution, Franklin was exceedingly exceptional in everything he put his mind to. This is, ideally, exactly what I would aspire to do.
But, alas, I cannot. I have to choose. We all do. And that is what terrifies me.
What comes to mind is the parable of the young man and the fruit tree. Within the adage, a young man finds himself at a crossroad in life, forced to decide his future. He comes to a tree, a tree that is filled with innumerable fruit. Reflected within each fruit is a vision of the man's future. Consumed by the impossibility of choosing, the man grows old, the tree withers, and both die, with the man never choosing a fruit.
I am at a crossroad. I see the tree in the distance, it is so improbably near.
Soon, I will be faced with an impossible decision.
Soon, I must choose.