"Cracked"

I don’t know how I got here,

But I’m stuck staring at a broken mirror.

The reflection is false, and I know that’s the truth, 

But I keep inventing new ways to ignore the proof.

I try to look at myself, but the cracks are in the way,

So I believe all the lies that the voices say.

Trying to fix the mirror still hasn’t helped,

So instead I put it back on the shelf.

 

But I've seen it,

And I hear it like they're spilling secrets.

By seeming true they echo in my head,

I start obsessing about what they've said.

I tell myself that they're not real,

But now the hurt is all that I feel.

I can't do anything, but I can't give in,

Because I don't think I'll ever be forgiven.

I have to live my life the same, 

With these feelings I can’t bear to name.

 

“Work first,” has been ingrained in my brain,

But ignoring the pain doesn’t make it wane,

Because I notice it over and over

Like a merry-go-round, never getting closer.

And each time the fear builds more and more 

 

Until I’m curled up in a ball on the floor.

 

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Diya John, Newfield High School

9/11

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