New (because normal does not exist)

Poem by Leah Landron

 

Since the second the doors shut in our faces,

Those chasing the past have set off in races,

For valid reasons and I'm fine with that,

But is it bad I'm happy where I'm at?

 

--Not because of the restrictions put in place

But because of the friends I never would have made, I’m 

Afraid of loss and losing all the same,

Not good at outgoing with only me to blame.

 

Occasionally, I will choose change,

But I prefer to take the horses by the reins,

Knowing my lanes can work as a safety net;

It’s scary to be thrown into the different.

 

Fearing the unknown has been ingrained in me,

Un-believing the forces that will be;

One step away from insanity,

Hoping holding back will set me free.

 

But I see the new creeping closer:

Certain things being lifted off our shoulders;

Still a mess of right, wrong, and grey,

But it is time to rejoin the foray.

 

The line between cautious and catastrophizing,

Like clay never fully done materializing,

Is more a barrier between me and myself,

Never okay with how I once felt.

 

It's hard to move on and harder to let go,

So I put my guard up even though I know

Good now doesn't mean never again,

And struggle is never seen to the end

Without the help of friends who 

Will be here both, now and then,

Despite the misconstrued messages I send.

 

But, I am already facing destiny;

Today is not predetermined like I hoped it’d be.

What happens now is actually up to me, and

That sounds . . .like a story I’d like to read.

 

 

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