Midterms: A Ballad Poem

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you don’t feel blue

I bet you’ve got the world tied on a string.


But come here.

Settle on in

So I could begin

My tale of what mid-terms shall bring.


I have not slept

For just about a week

I spent the whole time cramming

Though my future still is bleak.


Put eight tests in a week

That’s the worst idea of all!

Can’t think about that too long

Or I might just punch a wall.


It’s a week of stressing students

A week of panic attacks

A week to see how long

Our sanity can really last.


The test gets a whole grade

That just gets put behind me

So I can’t bump my eighty-nine

Up one point to a ninety


And apparently one mishap

Could get you out of college

Because apparently one quiz

Amounts to all of our knowledge


But I can’t complain for too long

I have to read my notes

But “The serving team can only score.”

Is all that I have wrote.


Our learning was repetition

Same facts, monotonous as hell,

“Remember the Mitochondria’s

The powerhouse of the cell!”


“Remember Lamarck’s theory

Of evolution was not true.”

“Your eggs are gamete cells.”


‘Cause they’ll ask you that at interviews.

“Renters have a lease.”

“The Renaissance was like a veil.”

“Five flats in the key of g.”

I study to no avail.


“X equals negative b,

Plus or minus the square root

Of b squared minus four ac

Divided by....shoot.”


When you study in a panic

Your time just gets abused

I have a real strong feeling,

That none of that’s getting used.


I could cram for econ for an hour,

But a have dance til seven

I guess I could skip dinner

I’ll just eat when I’m in Heaven.


I studied bio at Panera,

It was loud and nothing got done,

Since my friends were on wiki how

Looking up “How to eat a sponge.”


I thought I'd study in transition

But I learned, spontaneously

That I still need to cram for Algebra

Can’t I study them simultaneously?


I need to cram for history

Get the facts before my thoughts scatter

Thank God for my band class

Since they know it doesn’t matter.


I’ll budget all my time

To work on that one essay

That just had to be assigned

When all our brains are filleted.


I could write two paragraphs real quick

And procrastinate the rest

Since we consider its worth

Less than that of a test.


That doesn’t change the fact

That I’m not learning when

I’m reading the same notes

Again and Again and Again.


I still have to memorize it

Despite my sorry state,

Just keep on freaking out

About the subjects that I hate.


Just keeping on dragging through it

No matter how much you want to cry!

Because I’ll just keep on stressing

Until one day I’ll just die!


You know,

I was happy, once

And I enjoyed learning, once

But now I just want it to stop.


Because I’ll keep going

No matter how much I feel like a prop

Because once I get to college

I’ll get out on top.


Then I’ll get a job!

And get no more grades

I’ll still be just as stressed,

But at least I’m getting paid!

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