The Girl Who Tried to Throw Hands with Santa

Margot marched right into the Macy’s

Pushing through crowds like a plow

And marched right up to Santa

Yelling, “You useless fat cow!”


The mothers and children

All watched on in fear

As she glared at the man

Asking, “Remember last year?”


“I asked for a million bucks

And do ya know what I got?

A stupid, useless doll

And the thought I’d been forgot!


And to make it even better,

My dad lost his job.

So when I’m through with you,

I hope I make you sob.”


Santa gestured to security

As the crowds gather round

When Margot drew back her fist

Saying, “It’s about to go down.”


“You think you could ignore me

And I’ll let you go free?

Well, I’m gonna do to you

Exactly what you did to me!”


She pulled back her fist

But a guard grabbed her arm

And they dragged her away

Before she could do any harm.


She was pushed out the door

And the staff got back to work

As she sat on the curb

Muttering, “Those little jerks.”


She hears the door open,

And there Santa stands

She glares up at him and says,

“I’m still willing to throw hands.”


Santa sat next to her,

And she rolled her eyes

When he said “I can’t get you money”

And she snapped, “Why?”


“Isn’t it your job

To grant wishes and stuff?

My mom said you’re magical

So it can’t be that tough.”


“I’ll make you a deal,”

Santa employed.

“You be good for the year,

And I’ll get you a toy.”


“That’s stupid,” she said.

“That doesn’t help at all.”

“But at least,” Santa said.

“It’ll keep you happy til fall.


There’s not much you could do,

It might seem like a dead end

But keep up your beliefs,

And it’ll pay off in the end.”


“Don’t believe a word of that,”

Sullenly said she.

“But I get what you mean,

So I guess I’ll leave you be.”


The two bid goodbyes

And parted separate ways

As Santa heaved and sighed,

“That was not worth the pay.”

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